Friday, July 23, 2010

Restless

Syndrome: the combination of symptoms in a disease; a number of symptoms occurring together. The set of circumstances characteristic of a certain social condition; a set or series of related things, happenings or the like. Though with all my heart, as you might understand, I am stepping into the world of public sharing versus private sharing. This is not my arena; writing
( or as this domain defines sharing "posting") to anyone who cares to read what I write. Circumstances in life create characteristics which define a social condition. My social condition is "restless life syndrome". I believe this may occur in a person when the dreams you still have are too large to imagine they will come true. You appear settled to everyone. Not content, but settled. As long as you are in this state you will become no more than anyone expects. You remain safe and they are protected by your appearance. When asked "How are you doing?" would you dare to answer back "I'm restless."? Where would the conversation lead with this response? Who would be brave enough to present you with the opportunity and step into the void with you and answer "Tell me what you mean?" Those closest to you, those who love you, would most likely not dare to explore what you meant by "I'm restless." There are responses for hearing "I have bad news....." " I'm tired......" or even "I'm bored...." what will you offer me if I tell you "I'm restless."? This line might have great meaning when an actress, like Susan Hayward, took a long look around the room and announced "I'm restless...." As an announcement it has powerful implied meaning. As an answer to the everyday question, "How are you?" it stirs up confusion. It would mean our life is not as neat as it appears. The bed may be made up, but all the corners are not tucked in. We look like we have had a good night's rest; but in reality, we tossed our thoughts around all night long. Much like the condition of Restless Leg Syndrome, our lives are unpredictable and we have no idea when we will be awaken to work through the interruption of feeling restless with our existence. But can a person be so restless they will leave the safety of what is their very core? I am and I have.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

In pursuit

when the dreams you still have are too large to imagine they will come true.......
Today the show revolves around using your thoughts to bring into reality what you desire; wasn't this the topic on a channel today? Vision boards; I spent a good part of a day constructing such a tool in 2007. The exercise was exhilarating. On the edge to jump in to what was lying asleep in the corners of my mind. Pictures from magazines, glue stick, poster board, and energy. The possibility of thriving seemed to awake the dormant desire of hopes I had long ago suppressed. Very long ago.
If the dreams we had when we were at the beginning of deciding for ourselves, were put aside, offered up as a sacrifice for what we could take away as a consolation prize, does this lead a person to feel unworthy of those same dreams? One day, you found you completely followed your instincts. The inner voice was giving the strongest direction you ever found in your core. This choice was either the beginning or the end of life as you knew it, or knew life could be. It wasn't the first time you heard this directive. By not following before you were now faced with one moment to take the world apart and then in the same moment feel it shift back together again. You had not made a vision board to map out this right of passage. The vision was within and there may not be enough glue to hold all the fragmented pictures in place. The single sureness was if you listened, this time, the correct steps taken would be allow for easier access to the dreams you still have and are yet to have.