Life keeps pace with the world even when we do our best to keep the world out.
I have found myself literally "running on empty" as I am traveling from one point to another in my car. My car is kind to me and does not need to be flashing and dinging to warn me I am running on fumes. This has occurred at least once a week over the past month - yes, once every week. And there is the added pressure of accumulating points with Giant Food Company to lower the price of gas at the pump. The balance I am attempting to achieve is shop at Giant - earn enough points to lower the pump price by 20 cents per gallon (this is usually at least 2 shopping trips for groceries) and the most important part of this equation - do not run out of gas!
All four times the ding and flashing gas symbol came on - I prayed - it was no longer about reaching a Shell station who was the points master with Giant - it was "allow me to coast to the nearest station and put $5.00 in to keep this car moving!"
Often I paid a much much higher price for the $5.00 purchase - I could have easily gone to a less pricey gas station for the $5.00 purchase of gas and gotten more mileage for the dollar!
I do not do this in other areas of my life - I have over the years, but not recently. I try to keep the home well stocked with essentials and non essentials. I take care to not allow the paper which comes in pile up and I do clean - not on a schedule like my best friend - but I clean my home.
The whole points for lower prices for gain vanishes when the truth is there is no more gas in my car.
The whole say my prayers, allow spirit to fill my life vanishes when there is no room to fill completely up with blessings.
I feel as though I am running down my to my reserve tank of faith. I do believe in the unseen and in the power I often call on; yet, at times it can take very little for my light to flash danger and my bell to begin to ring in distress!
I hear the new charm "Too blessed to be stressed." I honestly must admit, I do not know what this means. I am blessed, to some, too blessed - HONESTLY?! I AM STRESSED!
A friend once was very honest with me and told me who it was who lived in my gut which made it swell and become an ugly mass - and at least another "it" has joined the first one. They take up too much room, and I am therefore running on empty because I cannot fill completely up with the blessings I am given each moment of my life. I can fill up with spiritual energy only in the space the rest of my gut will allow. This space decreases each time one of these gut suckers
rears it's ugly head to say "pay attention to me, time to remind you, I am still a part of your life!"
I decided on Friday, though these two menaces will remain there for a while longer, due to lack of resources to permanently remove them, I could still take charge of my gut and I did not need to feed the two anymore!
If I put them on the edge of my gut, I could fill up my gut with nourishing and healthy food. Nutrition for my body and my spirit.
I need to admit I am too blessed to be ....... but I also must bless and value myself.......
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Anticipation
What happens when we wait for a time in our lives which is cyclical? We have no control over the time coming, it will arrive. Such as every year is a new Chinese New Year. And if you have been to a Chinese restaurant most likely you could not help but look at the paper place mat which defined the years by a Chinese zodiac sign. Unlike the typical zodiacs we are aware of which change every 30 days or so through out the year, the Chinese zodiac you are born under must wait a full twelve years before it makes it appearance in a lifetime. Of course, the upside is, the sign lasts for one whole year. This is merely fluff in the world of more significant life events. Two years ago I remarked to a friend that in 2011 it was my year - The Year of The Rabbit - the luckiest sign in the Chinese Zodiac; and the friend said "you can wait for this?" No, I hoped my positive thoughts, prayers and hopes and dreams would manifest themselves before 2011. On many levels they have; but if having this year place a little more energy into my good luck, why not celebrate? Why not embrace the spirit of the rabbit and hope or hop towards what could turn out to be the best and most prosperous year of my life? After all, twelve years into the future is a long time to wait. I intend to remind myself each day this shall be the a year which I will be able to say all my dreams did come true.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Always take an umbrella
In life there is the smooth sailing and then there is the tail spin. Do we recognize either state when we exist within them? Often, it seems as if the tail spin is more normal than than the smooth sailing. Is it purely the state of having patience with life which allows us to sail smooth through a time? Does loosing patience within cause life to spin out of control, therefore, heading to crash and burn?
We have all earned the right to a little good news each day. In reality, depending on our lives, there can be more pain not joy; increased confusion not peace. Much like the times we feel we are dressed to for a lovely day and then the wind sweeps across and causes a downpour.
There is power in being able to not take experiences in life too personal. The balance between knowing this is not destructive and knowing we have the right to stop the destruction is a hard place to be.
What is the challenge for avoiding the tail spin, is not contributing to the destruction of another person's world.
Having the protection to know we do not need to act towards creating discord, if we will only stand still and beg the moment to pass, may keep the plane of our lives from completely crashing.
Embrace the smooth sailing of a lovely life filled celebration of the day; but be prepared with the downpour of chaos by guiding the moment with the shield of a quiet soul.
We have all earned the right to a little good news each day. In reality, depending on our lives, there can be more pain not joy; increased confusion not peace. Much like the times we feel we are dressed to for a lovely day and then the wind sweeps across and causes a downpour.
There is power in being able to not take experiences in life too personal. The balance between knowing this is not destructive and knowing we have the right to stop the destruction is a hard place to be.
What is the challenge for avoiding the tail spin, is not contributing to the destruction of another person's world.
Having the protection to know we do not need to act towards creating discord, if we will only stand still and beg the moment to pass, may keep the plane of our lives from completely crashing.
Embrace the smooth sailing of a lovely life filled celebration of the day; but be prepared with the downpour of chaos by guiding the moment with the shield of a quiet soul.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
"Surrender Dorothy"
The only way I can relate to the word surrender is by thinking of those words written across the sky by the Wicked Witch of The West. And yet, every day, I am reminded in order to move closer to the plan which I am to believe exists just for me, I need to surrender something which is holding me back. I have been lead to believe surrendering is for the weak. All those pictures and stories burned in my mind of "hands up and surrender" were for the defeated, not the victorious. Moving or running away instead of facing what is not good in our lives seems easier than surrendering the part which is the hardest for us to accept, and letting it go.
Truly walking or running or crawling away from the part which does not work, is making us sick, or is destroying our self, soul and spirit should be easy if we value our heart, mind and body.
Easier to "give up" than to surrender? Surrender is a strong word; implying a person may not have the strength needed to persevere through the heavy to the light parts of life. I say the light meaning the "straws" which seem to break our backs thought we should be able to let the straw land on the ground with out a temper tantrum. Surrender is not the same as detaching yourself from something which brings you sorrow. It is not the same as putting someone or something into the hand of a force greater than yourself. Surrender is placing very carefully something or someone who is part of your life away from you and walking away; not looking back, never to return, revisit or regret. If you are facing a surrender in your life, give yourself time to grow into it. The feeling should be this is the only way to survive rather than die. Don't do it because someone yells at you "Come out with your hands up!" You come out with your hands open to take on what will come next. It is written "only the strong survive"; I believe only the strong surrender.
Truly walking or running or crawling away from the part which does not work, is making us sick, or is destroying our self, soul and spirit should be easy if we value our heart, mind and body.
Easier to "give up" than to surrender? Surrender is a strong word; implying a person may not have the strength needed to persevere through the heavy to the light parts of life. I say the light meaning the "straws" which seem to break our backs thought we should be able to let the straw land on the ground with out a temper tantrum. Surrender is not the same as detaching yourself from something which brings you sorrow. It is not the same as putting someone or something into the hand of a force greater than yourself. Surrender is placing very carefully something or someone who is part of your life away from you and walking away; not looking back, never to return, revisit or regret. If you are facing a surrender in your life, give yourself time to grow into it. The feeling should be this is the only way to survive rather than die. Don't do it because someone yells at you "Come out with your hands up!" You come out with your hands open to take on what will come next. It is written "only the strong survive"; I believe only the strong surrender.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I wasn't told, were you?
The word support continues to swirl through my thoughts.
I think of how the women before me used this word. There were many pearls of wisdom we all wished our mothers might have shared with us about what it meant to be a woman, not a girl. What we might need to get through each day, despite what we thought the day might be like.
No generation invented friends who became critically ill, friends whose faced each day in a marriage that was like living on Mars, friends who needed financial help, friends who suffered from depression, friends whose child would never "straighten up and fly right". It is in everyone's world; maybe it is happening to you.
Somewhere in the annals of my memory, there are times I saw and overheard those women friends talking to each other about the pain in their lives and how it was good to talk to someone right then. Someone who would come when the bottom fell out and needed someone to help clean up what had left litter all around. I knew my mother was praying for her friends and sisters. I obviously learned something in watching and listening.
Support is being there. Asking the question when someone calls (not emails) "Is everything alright?" Never diminish the power of the human voice.
Often everything is not all right. It can be a topsy turvy day, week, month, year, years. Be prepared to have something happen which can turn your world upside down, inside out.
Friends trust us with the most intimate parts of their lives. When they need us, they truly need us. Stay tuned and know all the powers of the faith you embrace are there to guide you when you are called upon by a friend.
I was never told by women, of the generation of my mother, how they stayed standing when they often had been falling through pain and confusion and complexity. They stood in magnificent grace; but they never told me the secret to their balance.
I think of how the women before me used this word. There were many pearls of wisdom we all wished our mothers might have shared with us about what it meant to be a woman, not a girl. What we might need to get through each day, despite what we thought the day might be like.
No generation invented friends who became critically ill, friends whose faced each day in a marriage that was like living on Mars, friends who needed financial help, friends who suffered from depression, friends whose child would never "straighten up and fly right". It is in everyone's world; maybe it is happening to you.
Somewhere in the annals of my memory, there are times I saw and overheard those women friends talking to each other about the pain in their lives and how it was good to talk to someone right then. Someone who would come when the bottom fell out and needed someone to help clean up what had left litter all around. I knew my mother was praying for her friends and sisters. I obviously learned something in watching and listening.
Support is being there. Asking the question when someone calls (not emails) "Is everything alright?" Never diminish the power of the human voice.
Often everything is not all right. It can be a topsy turvy day, week, month, year, years. Be prepared to have something happen which can turn your world upside down, inside out.
Friends trust us with the most intimate parts of their lives. When they need us, they truly need us. Stay tuned and know all the powers of the faith you embrace are there to guide you when you are called upon by a friend.
I was never told by women, of the generation of my mother, how they stayed standing when they often had been falling through pain and confusion and complexity. They stood in magnificent grace; but they never told me the secret to their balance.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Defining Moment
Recently a modern day guru has offered this example as a way to define a decision you might need to make.
After you make the decision, go and fill a clean bowl with warm water and wash your hands, then dry your hands with a clean towel to complete the decision making process.
A couple of thoughts entered into my brain; one, this might be a good thing to do to help embrace and follow through on a serious decision you need to make. Second, this is what Pontius Pilate did after making his historical decision.
Pilate was washing his hands to separate himself from the grave decision he felt he had been pushed into making by a mob (Matthew 27:24). To demonstrate he was not responsible.
Putting away this advice for the future, then on an early Sunday morning filling a bowl and looking into it trying to weigh a decision worthy of this ritual, I was caught with the binding future this
decision may hold me to if I indeed made a decision and then washed my hands in the bowl.
We think "decisions" pretty much abound in our lives. Should I go or stay? Should I call or ignore?
Should I stop hurting myself with useless thoughts or take a step which makes sense?
The desicison demanding a ritual is deep...... it is so important, we must be prepared for the consequences in our life after we make this decision. We might not have control of what will happen if we make this decision.
Humans have made the decisions to marry, to have children, to unmarry, to separate from our children, to stand for a principle when our family members and many friends would walk away from us.
Serious matters for which we did not wash our hands; but possibly should have.
The symbolic washing of hands has power beyond what I could commit to on a Sunday morning.
Every thought of a decision to make bounced in my mind as trite, simple, even only transparent to the decision the bowl of water was worthy of consummating.
These thoughts would not translate into a decision strong enough to wash my hands for.
These thoughts were details compared to a decision with true and trusted consequences.
A decision with a true point of no return in the vast universe of fear versus knowing.
Denial, detachment, derailment.......
I can shake your hand, pinky swear, cross my heart hope to die, sign with my own blood - yet,
wash my hands in a bowl of clean water to seal the myself to a decision?
I confess, I was not able to.
After you make the decision, go and fill a clean bowl with warm water and wash your hands, then dry your hands with a clean towel to complete the decision making process.
A couple of thoughts entered into my brain; one, this might be a good thing to do to help embrace and follow through on a serious decision you need to make. Second, this is what Pontius Pilate did after making his historical decision.
Pilate was washing his hands to separate himself from the grave decision he felt he had been pushed into making by a mob (Matthew 27:24). To demonstrate he was not responsible.
Putting away this advice for the future, then on an early Sunday morning filling a bowl and looking into it trying to weigh a decision worthy of this ritual, I was caught with the binding future this
decision may hold me to if I indeed made a decision and then washed my hands in the bowl.
We think "decisions" pretty much abound in our lives. Should I go or stay? Should I call or ignore?
Should I stop hurting myself with useless thoughts or take a step which makes sense?
The desicison demanding a ritual is deep...... it is so important, we must be prepared for the consequences in our life after we make this decision. We might not have control of what will happen if we make this decision.
Humans have made the decisions to marry, to have children, to unmarry, to separate from our children, to stand for a principle when our family members and many friends would walk away from us.
Serious matters for which we did not wash our hands; but possibly should have.
The symbolic washing of hands has power beyond what I could commit to on a Sunday morning.
Every thought of a decision to make bounced in my mind as trite, simple, even only transparent to the decision the bowl of water was worthy of consummating.
These thoughts would not translate into a decision strong enough to wash my hands for.
These thoughts were details compared to a decision with true and trusted consequences.
A decision with a true point of no return in the vast universe of fear versus knowing.
Denial, detachment, derailment.......
I can shake your hand, pinky swear, cross my heart hope to die, sign with my own blood - yet,
wash my hands in a bowl of clean water to seal the myself to a decision?
I confess, I was not able to.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Amazing but true
I am now the member of a blog for my job and this personal blog space.
Surprise, surprise, but last Monday, when viewing the job blog, there had
landed my personal blog. It was mind blowing to see this mistake.
It was removed - deleted - by the person in the office who set up the blog, and
no one could understand how it had slipped on to the job blog.
I have therefore been a little timid to write again and try posting on this site not
knowing what cyber space had tricked me into last week.
As they say, "this is a test" and I am going to post this to see if it ends up where I
am hopeful it will, on the Restless Life Syndrome Blog.
Testing 1,2,3..........
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